


Bar Hoping

by FairyNiamh



Series: Drag Queens and Ruffled Lace [5]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Drag Queens, Humor, M/M, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-16
Updated: 2015-10-16
Packaged: 2018-04-26 16:18:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5011396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FairyNiamh/pseuds/FairyNiamh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Flora and the girls take Stiles out to celebrate his 21st birthday.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bar Hoping

For Stiles twenty first birthday, Momma Flora and the crew took him clubbing in San Francisco. No werewolves allowed. Not even mates. (Which really pissed Derek off.)

"Now, no drinking anything that isn’t handed to you by me. This includes the bartenders," Flora warned as they got out at the first club.

Stiles rolled his eyes at her. "Come on, no one is going to be looking at me. They are all going to be looking at you and your fabulous ladies."

"Nu uh, don't get us involved in this. You do as Flora says. You are too cute and naïve, an easy target," Miss Diagnosed chimed in.

"Do you know what I would have to do to someone who dared to drug my sweet baby boy?" Flora asked while looking deep into her son's eyes.

Stiles wanted to laugh, but he couldn't bring himself to, when he saw how serious she was. However, he could not trust himself not to do just that if he opened his mouth, so frowned and shook his head.

"Honey, I would have to kill that person. Then I would have to ask your Alpha for help in hiding the body. I would be _indebted_ to your mongrel. Do you want that to happen to me?" she questioned with wide eyes.

This time, he did laugh. "Okay, only drinks from your hand. What are you going to do if someone hands _you_ a spiked drink for me?"

Flora gave an almost angelic smile at the question, "Then I will do what any good Momma would do."

"Which is?" he asked a little wary.

"'I'll rip off his balls and shove them so far up his ass, that he can taste his own salty musk, and choke on it," she said happily.

Stiles winced and covered his own balls, "Ouch. Don't do that."

"Why not? If they try to pull a fast one on you, they certainly deserve far worse," Flora huffed.

"Yeah, well I don't want you to get in trouble on my birthday. Murder is a total killjoy during happy celebrations," he reasoned.

"Fine, I'll just do a little mojo and make them wish I was ripping off their balls," she said with a sullen pout.

"I love you Momma, now let's go see if it's raining men. Hot men, men that will make me squirm in my seat, and get me so hot and bothered, I have run home to Derek and ride him so hard that he can't even wear anything more than a kilt for a week," Stiles replied with a laugh as he hauled Flora and the girls inside. This was going to be the best birthday ever.

~Fin~

**Author's Note:**

> Written for day 12 of the songfic challenge at 1+million_words. Song: It's Raining Men by: The Weather Girls


End file.
